Idol Attraction 1: Over the Rails, Off the Cliff

nobody@vox.com(the quiet fox) — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 23:27:42 -0500

Okay. I think it's safe to say that I'm having something of an idol problem. I would call Terminix, but I don't think fumigation will help. Well, technically it might, I suppose, but gassing Sayumi Michishige would probably be frowned upon. (Or not? I kid, I kid.) Anyway. I've been meaning to write some entries about my understanding of pop idols, both from personal experience and from a more objective point of view, for a while now, but it's one of those things I've kept putting off. Now that Morning Musume and Hello!Project are threatening to take over my life, I think it might be appropriate to move the entries up a bit in my list of priorities. It's late now and I don't have quite the inclination to go in-depth just yet, so I'm gonna kick things off with a description of just why I think the phrase "take over my life" is accurate.

So you know how Wile E. Coyote, in the old cartoons, would get so absorbed in chasing the Road Runner that he could be tricked into running straight off of cliffs? And how he wouldn't fall right away, but instead would just keep going for a few seconds in midair? I think, in some demented 21st century, reckless-ambition-as-translated-into-enjoyment-of-pop-music way, I'm channeling him. Yeah, I started off at a slow pace, listening to the ai no dai 6kan album last summer and enjoying it. It was innocent enough. Then came "onna ni sachi are," which I liked a whole lot more. Hmm, more like a trot now. Then came "mikan." I bought this one. Oh, sure, it was on iTunes and it's not like I imported it, but now I'm moving even faster. Then came the complete PV collection on DVD. I didn't buy this right away! I almost held out! But after watching a bunch of PVs on YouTube and Dohhh Up!, I realized I needed these videos in higher definition. I threw it into my CDJapan order along with some other stuff. Oh, and while I was browsing I figured a little more wouldn't hurt, so I also bought Rainbow 7 and Sexy 8 Beat, the group's two most recent albums, in that same order. Full-on run now. The goods arrived, and I spent a day watching the DVDs. Then I watched them again. I put them on in the background while making dinner one night. I started gazing fondly at Rika Ishikawa in "AS FOR ONE DAY," and I don't even really like Rika. I thought to myself how cute Li Chun and Qian Lin were in the extra "mikan" making-of footage that was included. Picture the Coyote with his head parallel to the ground and his legs a blur behind him, going as fast as he can. Yep, that's me.

Okay, present day. Rainbow 7 is in my car CD player; I routinely roll down the window and blast "Osaka koi no uta" and/or the remix of "chokkan 2" as I drive through various metropolitan areas. I enthusiastically sing along when I know the lyrics. I'm going to give myself another day or two at most before I lose enough control to start shouting "HOW DO YOU LIKE THIS JAPAN?" and pumping my fist in the air while driving. Sexy 8 Beat, meanwhile, has been ripped to my computer, where I can't get enough of "genki+" and those awesome harmonies at the beginning of the song. Oh, and the Yossie solo track. Oh, Yossie. And tonight... tonight I was bored enough to do this:

Single Participation by Member

Single Participation Member Rankings

Yes, those are charts that I made, mostly from memory, because I was bored and I like organizing data. (The type is small on the first chart, so click it again when it opens up for a full-size version.) The first one lists every member and denotes all the singles that each one participated in. The second one tallies up the first chart and ranks the members accordingly. (I had a good laugh when I realized I forgot Kei at first. Thanks again for the cards, Arashi!) Statistically, I was surprised that there was a three-way tie for the most singles per member; I had assumed, before doing the actual count, that Kaorin would have come first by a long shot, for instance. Also, when I look at the string of singles that Maki Goto was in, I find it awfully curious that she-- WAIT. WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. I'm making CHARTS?! WHY AM I MAKING CHARTS? WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?

Yeah. I've been running in midair for a while now. I think I need one of those signs that I can hold up that says "Yipe!", because I've just had that cathartic moment of looking down - and now, hey, check it out, I'm plummeting downward. Boom.

After I climb out of this Coyote-shaped... err, fox-shaped hole in the ground and get rid of all these stars floating around my head (hey, is that Makoto I see in one of them?), I'll write a little more on why I think these idols have managed to have such an effect on me. It probably won't be anything groundbreaking, but I think it'll be a good thought exercise, at least. Possibly it will carry some much-needed therapeutic value. Ooh, damn, I feel dizzy. Why won't these stars go away? No, no, Makoto, I'm OK! It's all right! Go be with Yossie! You two are such a perfect coup-- *faints*

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Infinite Seasons

Idol Attraction 1: Over the Rails, Off the Cliff